Dawn Rising Sun

This afternoon, I had a small pleasure chattering with two friends, three of us are having the same experience on our current job changes, that our husband are on relocation assignment and we have to change our team for following them to here. Somehow I feel our similarity experience connects us and make me feel closer with them. Due to this, it remind me something happened last year. In March last year, SL was told that he got chance to go for relocation in US, that made me fought so hard during that period to follow him here. However, "cruel fact" told us that we were from different product teams and we couldn't work in the same site. Then I just forced to use all my annual leaves plus unpaid leaves to visit SL on my first visit and planned for taking permanent leave of absent on my next visit, no matter how long I need to take off and I surely would spend the winter with SL together until his assignment ends, this was our promise. Later, SL's assignment got extende...

In two weeks time, SL and I will be on our home trip soon, we will be back to our hometown Malaysia for two weeks, this would be the first time that we take flight together travel between US and Malaysia, this mean we will not be alone on flight anymore because we will be altogether. While I am happy with this moment to arrive, I just couldn't forget our last trip to LA, I think that actually was a miserable trip to us, I would say it was a seperation trip. Though we were on flight together for tour, we actually was going to be apart again within 5 days time. While travelling supposed to be an enjoying part in our life, but we still couldn't not to accept that we will be seperated soon after our vacation, just like two lovers were forced to give up each other for some cruel fact, that wasn't good feeling at all. I think that miserable LA trip would always be in our memory whenever we are together and apart. That teaches us about a pair of lovers shouldn't choose to live...

我还记得，小时候我外婆总爱讲故事给我们听，有两则的故事一直记忆犹新。 第一则故事是说有一家人在墙上挖了两个洞，一个大洞、一个小洞，访客到了他们家便问为何要挖两个洞，主人便告诉他说他家养了两只猫，一只大猫、一只小猫，所以必须有两个洞，因为大洞给大猫过，小洞给小猫过，之后访客便问为何不只挖一个大洞，那么大猫和小猫都能够经过了。这故事带出的意思是我们不应该只在设定的框框里思想，而必须更加的创新创意的解决问题。 第二则故事是说泥与沙的不同，当我们用沙来搓模型时，它将无法凝结一起而散了，但是当我们用泥来造模型的话，它却能够结合成坚固的模型，这是因为沙是散的，而泥是团结的，所以我们必须学泥那样团结，这样才能够创造成功。 除了这两则故事，外婆也喜欢告诉我们她在日战时的故事，多么的艰辛、多么的恐惧，他也会告诉我们她以前嫁给她的丈夫如何地对她不好，每晚在身体与心灵上的受伤，以至最后的远走高飞。其实外婆与母亲的婚姻失败故事时常令我对婚姻产生了些许的恐惧，我害怕自己成了第三代的失败。 从小，都是外婆照顾我们姐弟，母亲忙于自己的事业而疏忽了我们，有时我想外婆跟我们的关系或许比母亲还要亲吧。小时候的记忆，外婆占的空间比母亲的还多，我们都是与外婆同床共枕，一切不安的心情都是他来慰籍的。 上一次与外婆见面是两个月前，当时的她还是那么的健壮，能够自己走动、做东西，一点的虚弱都看不出来，还是那么的爱看那部台湾剧--《爱》。 当我来到美国公干之后，小妹开始告诉我关于外婆的健康，在这几个星期的时间，它突然间虚弱了，无法自己移动身体，四肢无力并需要别人的照顾，还需要穿着纸尿片来预防不经意的漏尿与排便，这完全跟我前两个月前见到她的记忆完全不一样。 今天早上，当我在公司里开启了我电脑的时候，我收到了小妹的报急讯息，她告知外婆与马来西亚时间星期二晚上十一点停止了呼吸，这简直是晴天霹雳，外婆在我的记忆里还是两个月那么的健康，虽然最近听过小妹提起她的虚弱，但是我还是无法想象那种虚弱会在几个星期内就让一个人离开，我真得无法接受。这整天的心情也不太愉快，偶尔会想到以前与外婆的记忆。 放工回家之后，我拨了通电话给小妹，问她关于那边的情况，她说那时有关胆的疾病，外婆突然在这几个星期内突然身体肿胀了起来，身体也开始变黄了，我想应该是黄疸病吧。知识，我还是我无法想象那一切的一切是怎么发生的，黄到底是怎么得黄？肿到底是怎么的肿？...

Backed to 3.5 months ago, SL told me that his relacation plan would be extended until end of 2010, then I was sure that I needed to take my personal leave of absence for a year, that was the best solution on our seperation becase I was too tired on kept argueing about my leave application with my manager, still they didn't allow me to support from Oregon. Why should we be fighting so hard for this? However, I was afraid with this change because that mean I would be doing nothing for a year, that I would be bored during my stay. Then, I started thinking some solutions for my situation, I am most interested on searching for research assistantship in an university, and I did try to apply for it but they only recruit their university students for the post, this really made me in dissapointment. Later, I got a chance to work on SL's project, this allowed me to work in Oregon with SL as well, this is really an encouraging opportunity to me, because I don't like to be doing nothin...

I didn't really have much good sleep for a lot of night in pass few weeks, because there is too many things that I need to plan, too many things that I am worrying, therefore I sometime even kept alert during sleep. The day before today, I was really in tiredness, but more on mentally tiredness and leaded to physically tiredness. SL and I have been seperated for quite a long time, therefore we tried really hard to reunite as soon as possible. As an employee, I hoped that I could start involve into my new team as soon as possible, but I am also just a wife to SL, that I also hoped that we can meet in shortest time. No matter for which reason, I really hope that I could shift as soon as possible. Finally, I have went through so many gates and today can be considered as the last gate (perhaps second last??), therefore I somehow find myself to be released from a burden, it took me too much time to put it down, but it is finally landed that I just felt relaxed and took a good sleep duri...

This is really a busy day to me because I had been doing a lot of things from morning until evening. I woke up at seven, this is an odd scenario for a weekend, but I needed to do my shipment at Fedex, it is only opened for half day during Saturday. Actually, I don't really like to use working days on doing this because I didn't know how long would it take. After I got to Fedex building, I started packing my stuffs and filling up forms for my shipment, it took me about 2 hours until I was finally done. Then, I met up with YY and SC at my home as we would go to find Lena, she was our coursemate in UTM, who is coming to Penang this weekend for Penang Bridge International Marathon. While I was talking with YY and SC in my room, I was still busy on packing as I am going to move out soon. Also, I could pass some unfinished foods to YY, so that I don't need to throw them away. At the same time, I also called to an electrician to unload my air-conditioner in my room, that we made a...

To many people, SL is a quiet person, that he seldom talk too much, this is what I think. However, he actually is so cute that he likes to share a lot of things with me, sometime you won't believe he is SL :P Somehow, I think a man does change before and after he got married, SL is a quite obvious example to me. Before he is married, I think he just didn't care any unhappy things which happened to him, that as long as it doesn't hurt him too much, then he would be just forget it after sometime. However, he just becomes too caring on anything related to me, that he can't never get rid with them even though I told him that I could manage it myself. For example, I told him that I would drive to Kuala Lumpur next week, then he can be worried forever if I really can get there safely, then kept argueing with me. The another changes of SL is he actually was shy to let other know about our story before we got married because he thought it actually is privacy between two of us, ...

Perhaps, it is because SL and I didn't chat during weekday's night time for about 2 weeks, then we just chatted on this morning and we talked about a lot of things, he also reminded me what I need to buy for my next trip. Actually, I am kind of busy for the day. After some shopping during afternoon, I backed to home about 6:30pm and continue with my packing, this is actually a tired task but I am happy that I still manage to do it. Suddenly, I felt that I am quite independent :P because I can arrange everything here alone and travel alone to find SL. Then, I was just wondering that if I really manage to arrange everything by myself, why do I still need a husband? :P Well, I think life between two people is still different, they get together because of love, though they don't really need each other for daily activities, they still need each other for spiritual support. There I totally agreed as SL really support me a lot at mentally aspect, especially while I was in pressure...

I backed to home early this evening because I planned to packed my things, actually I have done some packing during Sunday, that I got a full box of stuff for my shipment. For today packing, I packed all my unused clothes (SL's and mine) into a huge luggage, that I thought it would be enough for all my clothes, however I was wrong, as I still found a lot of clothes left after I got my luggage full :S Now, I start worrying if I really got enough time to pack all my stuff before I leave to find SL, because I not only need to pack what I need to get to US, but also the whole of my bedroom, because our house is going to dismiss soon, that I need to get all our stuff properly packed, so that it would be convenient to move. Time is ticking fast until I didn't realise, that I would meet with SL soon within 20 days from now if everything is going smooth, this also mean that I don't really have much time left for me to prepare myself. Anyways, I hope that everything will be fine fin...

This Saturday, my current team was having a teambuilding event, that we did a hiking at Pantai Kerachut during morning and had dinner at Kampachi of Equatorial Hotel, this was really a good memory for me before I leave. For this year round, we didn't really had a teambuilding due to everyone is busy on the project, therefore we could have more budget this time to dine out in Kampachi, which costs about RM100 per person. During Saturday morning, I woke up early and prepared myself to go to ST's house, as ST, SS and I decided carpooling to Penang National Park together, ST's husband (BK) is joining us as well. While we arrived to the National Park, we found some teammates were there and we were waiting for another group of people to arrive, that we just has some chatting at the registration counter, this was my third time to Penang National Park, SL was my first visit that we went to Pantai Kerachut together and YY was the second that we went until USM research beach. And, th...

When I was sleeping last night, I felt something past across my body and I just wiped it away from me. Then, I hoped that I could continue to sleep in a moment, but I just couldn't make it. Finally, I decided to root cause who is my weird passanger. After I turend on my light, I just found that was a cockroach beside my bed. Oh no!!! I hoped that I just didn't know this, it was a a BIG cockroach with a LONG antennae, what should I do? How can I get it away? I was panic. Kill it? No, I stopped killing since my secondary school (but I am still a carnivore, haha I am conflict here :P), even though there is an annoying mosquito, I would try not to kill it, unless it is too annoying that I couldn't stop to give it a clap (haha... conflict again :P). How? How? What should I do? I was panic and looking for a weapon to chase it away from my room. And finally I found a leaflet on my desk, then I just grabbed it without a second thought and batted it through my bedroom's door. Wa...

Actually, I am feeling quite sad today because it's nearly end of October and the daylight saving will come to the end by this Sunday, which is 1st of November, that means gap between SL and I would be larger. Before this, SL and I would chat through messanger every night for 1.5 hours, that we could see each other every night, and he starts teaching me some knowledges on job related recently. However, this won't be happened after daylight saving ends, because I would need to stay later or he would need to wake up earlier, therefore we decided to cancel our weekdays chatting and we will chat weekly, this makes me suddenly felt sad, I hate daylight saving ends so fast. Thereafter, our daily meeting would become weekly meeting, then from seven days down to two days a week, I am just suddenly felt unhappy of this. Anyways, I think this buy me sometime on self study, maybe I could sleep earlier than before to keep my condition good. Due to some sad emotion, I just thought out a poe...

This afternoon, I had tea break with some good friends in company cafe, there I knew about a lady in my company, who had similar experience as me, that her husband was relocating to another country for a year in past. Then, the lady decided to take long leave and followed his husband there, she is a brave lady because she was willing to give up her career for her loved one, actually I felt respect to her. When I was in decision making situation, I was hesitated to choose give up any of them, therefore I chose to stay in Malaysia when SL was going for relocation at half year ago because I think eight months wasn't too long for us and we should be able to go through those tough period. However, I would choose to follow him if seperation is longer than a year, as I know that is our limit. When situation comes to selection, I think girl always is the one who sacrified herself for her family, actually I don't like this because this is really unfair to girl, why can't girls keep ...

I am reading a book from Stephenie Meyer recently, "the host", there is a kind of alien in the book, they live like a soul and they need to have a host (human body, plants, animal, insect or any creatures) to keep them living, their lives are transferred from a host to another host, therefore they can live up to many lives as long as that they could live in a healthy host and be transfer before their host has been destroyed. And Wanderer is a soul in the book and she is the main character in the book, that she had been transferred for nine lives before she started with a human's host, that she had been travelling among nine different planets until she came to the earth. Why is she a wanderer? Normally, a soul would travel for just 2 to 3 planets, then they would settle down at the favourite planet forever, there they would transfer from host to anothe host in the same planet. But, Wanderer wasn't settled down even she had been traveling among nine planets. Sometimes, ...

I had a good weekend this week that I really need to thanks YY a lot, because she is willing to spend a lot of time with me for these two days, I didn't have my lunch and dinner alone for the days. On Saturday, YY and I visited KS's family at Greenlane, that I finally could see KS's 13-months old son, CC (it was really hurt to hear CC recognised me as auntie :P). We spent quite some time in KS's house until we have had our dinner there, thanks for KS's hospitality :) During our visit, CC was so nice and obedient, that he kept smiling to us and energetic that walking here and there, I personally think that he is pretty good in walking now though he fell down sometime, but he managed to get up by himself. There are a lot of discussion in KS's house about parenting and housing, that KS told us that baby cannot take salt until 2 or 3 years old becuase their kidneys are not developed properly yet, therefore taking salted food might hurt them, I think that we really n...

During SL returned his hometown, we spent a day to visit my hometown in Kota Tinggi, for getting some books and winter clothes from my home, then I also can catch up with my family, especially my brothers and my younger sisters. Perhaps that I didn't see and communicate with them for long time, that I found that my youngest brother has been growing up that fast and more thoughtful. My youngest brother is at his 16 years old now, but he has planned so much further for his future "business", yes, he wants to be a businessman, that he wants to open a lot of shops and he is working hard for now to gather as many information as possible for his future planning, well my mother will be his invester, then he will be the "CEO" :P After knowing my youngest brother's ambition, I really couldn't believe that he is such a good future planner, because what I was doing during my age 16 just studying for getting a better job in future, but he is thinking on how to earn ...

This evening, when I was ready to go for dinner with YY and MS, I just recieved a message from SL, that he told me he is sleepless again and sick now, but when I tried to reply him through msn, I just couldn't get it signing in, this made me really worried on his condition. Therefore, I decided not to join YY and MS for dinner and backed home straight a way. When I just backed to home, I fortunately successfully signed in to messanger, but I saw SL offline with a note stated that he is sick. Then, I just made him a call to check is he is better, however I think it is better for him to sleep more to recover his energy. After half year of seperation, SL and I both are healthy until now he fell to sick, I am so sad that I can't take care of him by his side, he is sleepless for last few nights due to jet-lag, I think this weaken him a lot, hopefully he will become better soon. SL, please take care of yourself.

Once again, I back to alone this morning after two weeks of reunion with SL, SL is taking his flight back to US for his work. Happily, we don't really have big arguement for last two weeks, that we were always happy to be together, also we celebrated our first wedding anniversary on 27th of September and spent our time together for Mid Autumn Festival yesterday. Really, it is the perfect reunion timing for last two weeks, I am happy with our reunion planning as we have calculated our time percisely :) Well, I am still sad for our third seperation, but it wasn't as sad as last two because we have faith that we will meet again in short future and won't be seperated long after that, I think I would be pretty busy on preparation for our next grand reunion, that won't allow too much sad emotion on this. Here I really wish that everything can go as smooth as possible, we don't really hope for any bad surprise.

Just within a day, I will meet with my SL hubby, I am so excited now though I couldn't speak with him tonight because he is on his way back to Malaysia, and now he is on his flight from San Francisco to Hong Kong, which will arrive at 6:25am tomorrow. Actually, I think I am a little crazy today, I kept checking on his flight status from time to time although I know his iternary, I know when his flight will depart and arrive and I know where the flight stop, but I just couldn't help and keep tracking on the status, it is serious until I kept refreshing the flight status webpage every 30 minutes. Even though I knew the flight had departed from the airport, I still couldn't stop to check the status, I know so well this actually doesn't help the flight arrive earlier, I just wamted to make sure the flight is flying safely. This is really nonsense, right? Do you have the same experience as mine? Honestly, I am really worried, I am worried to recieve any bad news about SL dur...

Yes, I am still counting down, there is another 5 waiting/working days, then I will reunit with my hubby on 8:30pm of Friday. Also, there is another 2 weeks then we will celebrate for our first wedding anniversary, this celebration is our hot topic recently, we are thinking how to celebrate it and where should we go for dinner. SL told me that is especially important for the first anniversary because this is the first milestone we have ever reached so far, therefore he takes a lot of time on preparing a presentation to memorise our first year, I really couldn't wait for any longer for viewing his presentation. However, I am feeling guilty for doing nothing for our special day but I couldn't think anything can be more special than SL's. Last week, I just got an idea and I think this might be influenced by YY, she is interested on drawing, then I just think that I might need to learn from her, to think out for some activities during my space time. Finally, I just copy what YY...