Dawn Rising Sun

最近正追看着港剧《家好月圆》，满好看的一部戏。其中看到一段满感人的剧情，Jo饱的眼看不见了，还坚持走了大段路去为阿庆庆祝生日，当时他对阿庆说他的眼看不见了，心里还是想回去为阿庆庆祝生日，这才发现原来回家的路是这么难走。看Jo饱走了那段艰辛的路，心中感动，也感慨着为何自己没有这样的父亲。 家好月圆，家好月圆，有谁会不希望真的能够家好月圆？有情人又难道不想成眷属吗？只是又有谁能够预测多年以后会发生的事？其实，最近开始对婚姻感到了恐惧，害怕在踏入婚姻的殿堂之后，却要带着遗憾的心理离开。我也希望每一个家都是那么的美好，只是这世上是真的有破碎的家庭，童年的不愉快一遍又一遍的浮现脑海，对婚姻的恐惧原来是来自那阴影。 真的好害怕婚后的不幸福，一只告诉自己这是多虑，但却逃不出那阵恐惧。 已经尝试了好久，以致催眠着自己忘记小时的悲痛。其实，在父母离婚之后，在我从英国回来之后，我算是变开朗了不少，当时不想回首的记忆也开始淡去。然而，那天回家听见我婆婆再度提起我爸以前的恶习，我心中又在泛起了涟漪，害怕的心情一再反复无常。 心中的焦虑油然而生，在一个人的时候，会常常这样的问自己，我会不会也向我妈那样的不幸福？我好害怕，如果结局真的是那样的话，当初又为何要开始呢？原来，我害怕不幸福的开始了，我真的好怕，又是真的好想放声得哭出来。又有谁不渴望天长地久呢？只是天长地久有时尽，留下的恨却会是绵绵无绝期。 也就因为那份恐惧，让我对爱情感到缺乏安全感，过去的一个月里，我真的在找着无数个借口叫自己放弃即将来临的那一天，因为我真的好害怕将来的遗憾，我太害怕在感情上受伤啊。 回想过去的一个月里，我们吵了无数次的架，然而他却不曾有放弃的念头，可我却一直想着弃权，两个人都很累，但就是因为有一头一直在抓着不放，才会维持到今天。是他发现了我心中的不安吗？但是，他的那份傻劲，让我无处遁逃，开始相信或许他真的能够和我白头偕老。“持子之手，与子偕老”，多美妙的一句话，一直怀疑会否在我生命里出现，但是现在就暂且相信吧。 《家好月圆》里Jo饱和荷妈虽然离婚了，但是他们当初的记忆却一直存在彼此之间，让他们的距离拉近，后悔当时的冲动。他也常常告诉我，即使以后的感情变淡了，以前在一起的美好记忆还是会那么的深刻，这是任何的外遇都无法取代的。 或许，天长地久的秘诀并不在于如何害怕与预防，而是把握着快乐的...

好不容易过了马来西亚大选，一夜的跟进，虽然还没有所有的大选成绩，但是已经有了大多数的结果了。 国阵的三分之二议席被否决，输了五个州（槟城，吉打，霹雳，雪兰莪，吉兰丹）的多数票，还有很多个国阵的大头也在这次的大选落马，最振奋人心的是三美也下台了，看来 Sungai Siput 的选民还会为大局着想了，真应该对他们说一声谢谢。 经过次大选之后，我开始感受到大马人民对政治开始有了警觉，期望着更好的政府成立，我真地对这一次的选举成绩有点惊讶，但是，感动的成分还是比较多的，大马人民开始要革命了吗？ 令人感到欣慰的是，行动党一直以大局为重，呼吁支持者保持低调，以免引起不必要的冲突，这是一个非常明确的做法。 曾经在英国看到他们的大选相当的透明化，Tony 和 Micheal 之间的竞争是何等的激烈，入住 Downing Street 是那么精彩的路程，感慨马来西亚的大选过程没得看，人民的政治警觉度超低。然而，这届大选让我看见了不一样的情景，心情可算是超兴奋，大马人民开始睡醒了。 现在希望，三大反对党可以团结起来，别搞分裂与内乱，别往国阵靠拢，以后为国家开创另一片天，这样的话，人民的革命才没有白费，希望不会一再落空。 也希望马来西亚在来届大选能够更加的透明化。

今天下午，和一位很久没见面的朋友吃午餐，话题当然是不离最近的热门啦，三月八日马来西亚大选。于是就问她会都选那个人，她说她还没有做登记，不过如果要投的话，她说：“如果三美没有竞选的话，才会投反对党”。当我听到这答案的时候，简直是有点大吊眼镜，没错，三美就是我们众所周知的 Samy Velu。 我还真是没想到，像这样的大贪官还会有人想投他一票，他怎么可能有这样的魅力？全国人民都讨厌的人，还会有人拥戴么？真是一时想不通。 问了我朋友原因，才发现三美对 Sungai Siput 的人还真的是好呢。连马华都不敢健的华小，三美却在 Sungai Siput 出了很多力，造桥铺路他全都有份，发生了水灾，三美还会自掏腰包的送灾民，对 Sungai Siput 的福利与建设还真的不小。听到朋友这样描述三美，我还在怀疑自己的耳朵是否出错了。 刚开始宣布大选的时候，还以为三美这次一定会完蛋了,可是看他这样深得 Sungai Siput 的民心，好像看见三美还是会再度蝉联。 听到三美在 Sungai Siput 的事迹，觉得它是个当县官的料，能够为他的县民带来福利。但是看看他在当部长时的“贡献”，我只能说他不是个能当大官的人。 这样想想，发现原来三美是个聪明人，他应该知道了，全国人民讨厌他不要紧，只要投他票的人喜欢他就够了，因为投他票的人不是全马来西亚的人，而只是 Sungai Siput 的人。他只需要提供 Sungai Siput 的福利，就能换来全国人民的$$。 这样的话，有点感慨。

Last Friday, my fiance and I are going the SP Setia, because Micheal Wong (Guang Liang) was invited by developer for a show there. Secretly tell you, my fiance is a fan of Micheal Wong, I didn’t know how much he likes Micheal Wong, until Friday night :D It is very much. Micheal Wong had totally sang 12 songs on the show (this is from SL’s record :P), Seh Leong would turn his handphone on and typed in the name of song, once Micheal started singing. At that time, I suddenly found Seh Leong is so cute, just like a kid always supports what he likes. Originally, I was hesitated to go for Micheal’s preformance or go out with my friends on the Friday night. Once I saw Seh Leong was so happy to listen Micheal’s singing, and he is really enjoyed it, I think this is the right choice to go there. Seh Leong had never seen Micheal Wong real person, this is his first time, I can see his happiness. He is so cute :D By the way, please don’t ask me what the 12 songs were, but ask Seh Leong, because I c...

I was reading Seh Leong’s Year End Summary just now, quite a lot of fun, we are having a similar memory, so that I can know what he felt, and watch back my this year past. Over all, I am quite happy this year. I had some trips with him, to Phuket, KL and Genting, those were happy moments. I like to go for a break after a period, this can refresh myself, and refresh our relationship, kind of retreat, he would be different with usual after the retreat, "sweeter" than usual :) I also changed to another department at 3rd quarter of this year, I am happy that I still can be in touch with my friends from former department. I was worry if I would lose them, but we still can talk like then, just we couldn’t meet everyday. But, friends will always there. Well, I think the most surprised news is I just registered at the end of the year, I could never imagine how would this be, just a moment martial status will change, but so uncomfortable, scared on this, that’s why you still see my st...

Today, Seh Leong and I were talking about a fairy tale, which is "Little Mermaid", he nearly forgot the story. He said it is a sad story after I brief through the story for him, it is seldom for a fairy tale with sad story. Though, this is my favourite fairy tale. I like little mermaid, she has the greatest spirit in love, she chose to sacrify, instead to get back her life in the sea. How many people are able to do this? After hurt by love, do we use our love to recover our injury? Or we only pour our hatress onto who hurt us instead? At this moment, I just remember that sometime we need to learn from little mermaid.

"People come and go, my soilder will stay forever", I forgot which movie is having this quote, but this sentence always keep in my mind. In our life, we have too much farewell with too many people, but farewell doesn’t mean the end of relationship, but means a new start in relationship. I try to memorise, how many people is leaving my department in this year, including me, 10 fingers is not enough and I can’t really remember an exact number. After leaving, I bear in my mind, we are still friends although we can’t be teammates anymore, I trust that only friendship can stay forever (of course this is not include family or something closer relationship). Yes, I am so happy that I still can keep in touch with my ex-teammates frequently, hang around and talk as before, nothing is blocked between us although we are from different departments then. It’s true, friendship can last forever.