"Missing you" Graph
As my daily routine, I chat with SL last night, he told me he had reached his limit without me and he found his limit is maximum up to 6~7 weeks, and it is fortunately I would visit him next week, then he would die very soon (I think he was too much on this part). Suddenly, I just felt hurt as I couldn't be along with him when he really needed me.
Then, SL asked me for considering to leave my job if I don't find hard to live in US during my one-month visit, I think he is really missing me a lot there. Actually, I am so lucky to have a husband who always respect on my decision, he never blamed me on choosing not to follow him there, but he blames himself instead of cannot provide me a wealthy life.
Back to three months ago when he just got his relocation plan confirmed, SL asked me to decided whether wanted to follow him to US, he told me that he really needs me be with him but he would always gave me to choose and respect on my choice. At first, I was worried that I would be too boring if I follow him to US, because I don't have job there, and neither I have friends there, that's mean all my time would only spend with SL, I even couldn't imagine if I could manage to live this kind of life, therefore I told him that I wanted to stay here.
However, when time got closer and too many changes from my manager's side on my visiting plan, I was down for once and changed my decision on want to following him, then he fought until the highest manager to change his plan to let me follow him as spouse. Due to too much fear on uncertainty and worry, then I changed my decision back again, this made him embarassed to his manager with his plan kept changing, but he still didn't blame me at all, he just respected on what I decided. Honestly, I am so touched with this, this is really difficult to find a man, who can respect you all the way, even though what you decide wasn't what he really wants.
All after all, a good relationship shouldn't just take the advantage if the other side keep respecting you, you also need to respect in return and consider his needs, therefore I might need to consider his suggestion, it is meaningless when you got whatever you want from his respect, but just left him in depression all alone in a foreign country.
This morning, SL and I had another funny chat until I didn't really got his meaning at first. He said our "Missing You" degree is similar with running, where I can run first, then walk for resting and later run again, but he only can run longer at the beginning, but he has to fully stop after he felt tired, then he cannot continue running.
Haha, can you get his point? Actually I was so confused with it, I thought he talked about physicaly running activity as this is what our different when we really are running. But, this actually with his deeper meaning, then he continue explained to me, where for my case I would miss him first, but I would feel better later and after sometime I would miss him again, then this type of "missing you" is a cycle, it will up and down, therefore I won't be so hurt. On another hand, his case is another scenario, where he would feel fine at the beginning, but he would continuously miss me and the degree will increase from day to day, until it hit the limit.
Then, SL even sent me "Missing you mesurement" graphes, to show different between us, this makes me feeling so bad as I really don't want him to reach his limit as I know he is a person who easy becomes depressed, I would choose to stay by his side if I can do it, so that he could live longer.
Long ago, I read data said that women can live longer compared with men if they are alone, I think this might be true according to SL's "Missing you measurement", because men's degree would keep increase, but women would frustrate within a range, this mean men would getting more depress when time go on, but women would have their mood changes between depress and happy alternately.
Is this because women have their hormon circulate every month? But men don't experience hormon changes and this makes their emotion keeps growing until their reach to limit. Haha... do I think too much?
SL, please be strong, I love you all the way and forever.
Then, SL asked me for considering to leave my job if I don't find hard to live in US during my one-month visit, I think he is really missing me a lot there. Actually, I am so lucky to have a husband who always respect on my decision, he never blamed me on choosing not to follow him there, but he blames himself instead of cannot provide me a wealthy life.
Back to three months ago when he just got his relocation plan confirmed, SL asked me to decided whether wanted to follow him to US, he told me that he really needs me be with him but he would always gave me to choose and respect on my choice. At first, I was worried that I would be too boring if I follow him to US, because I don't have job there, and neither I have friends there, that's mean all my time would only spend with SL, I even couldn't imagine if I could manage to live this kind of life, therefore I told him that I wanted to stay here.
However, when time got closer and too many changes from my manager's side on my visiting plan, I was down for once and changed my decision on want to following him, then he fought until the highest manager to change his plan to let me follow him as spouse. Due to too much fear on uncertainty and worry, then I changed my decision back again, this made him embarassed to his manager with his plan kept changing, but he still didn't blame me at all, he just respected on what I decided. Honestly, I am so touched with this, this is really difficult to find a man, who can respect you all the way, even though what you decide wasn't what he really wants.
All after all, a good relationship shouldn't just take the advantage if the other side keep respecting you, you also need to respect in return and consider his needs, therefore I might need to consider his suggestion, it is meaningless when you got whatever you want from his respect, but just left him in depression all alone in a foreign country.
This morning, SL and I had another funny chat until I didn't really got his meaning at first. He said our "Missing You" degree is similar with running, where I can run first, then walk for resting and later run again, but he only can run longer at the beginning, but he has to fully stop after he felt tired, then he cannot continue running.
Haha, can you get his point? Actually I was so confused with it, I thought he talked about physicaly running activity as this is what our different when we really are running. But, this actually with his deeper meaning, then he continue explained to me, where for my case I would miss him first, but I would feel better later and after sometime I would miss him again, then this type of "missing you" is a cycle, it will up and down, therefore I won't be so hurt. On another hand, his case is another scenario, where he would feel fine at the beginning, but he would continuously miss me and the degree will increase from day to day, until it hit the limit.
Then, SL even sent me "Missing you mesurement" graphes, to show different between us, this makes me feeling so bad as I really don't want him to reach his limit as I know he is a person who easy becomes depressed, I would choose to stay by his side if I can do it, so that he could live longer.
Long ago, I read data said that women can live longer compared with men if they are alone, I think this might be true according to SL's "Missing you measurement", because men's degree would keep increase, but women would frustrate within a range, this mean men would getting more depress when time go on, but women would have their mood changes between depress and happy alternately.
Is this because women have their hormon circulate every month? But men don't experience hormon changes and this makes their emotion keeps growing until their reach to limit. Haha... do I think too much?
SL, please be strong, I love you all the way and forever.
Comments
-michelle