the older, the more pressure

Recently, I feel kind of pressure from families (SL's family and my family), also some pressure from friends, it looks like every people is expecting good news from me, well to be exact, they are expecting good news from my stomach @_@

It looks like a common perspective from people that women should have a baby once they got married, what a strange rule for women? I want to object, but elder people most likely agree. Are women born for married then pregnent? Can we have our own plan?

Last night, my mother phoned me and told something weird to me, she asked me don't touch any aloe vera from then, as I plant a lot of aloe vera in my yard and one of them grows pretty huge. On that time, I was confused, any side effect that I should leave my aloe vera away? Well, to be honest I was careless on them recently, but this doesn't mean I don't want them.

Later, my mother told me that she suspected that aloe vera makes me cannot be pregnent @_@. Oh no, is my aloe vera so powerful? Then, I just told her this is nonsense, but she argued this should be reason, well I can confirm that is not as we didn't plan to have baby for now, that's why we have some prevention.

Suddenly, I found that my mother is really crazy for a grandchild, what a pressure to me? Mum, I am not ready yet, especially for now, how can I get pregnent when my husband is not around? Do you know my situation?

Unexpectedly, my mother said that is not a problem to get pregnent without SL's accompany, she thought I could manage it, all alone in Penang. Well, I sometimes would feel lonely and sad when I am alone here, and I really cannot imagine what would be changing in my emotion if I get pregnent without my husband by my side, I think I surely will be depress that time, something like pre-delivery depression.

Now, I know I am not as strong as my mother, or my mother actually think a husband actually is a burden for pregnency, it was terrible experience for her during her pregnency. As I was told by my grandmother, my mother was abused by my father even when she was in pregnency time, my drunk father used to beat my mother without any mercy, that's why I hate my father so much.

I think my mother had her pregnency alone without any care from her husband, therefore she think husband actually is unnecesary at all, but my husband is a responsible husband and I know he would take good care for me, so that I could have happy moment during pregnent. Therefore, mum, please don't worry too much for me.

Also, SL and I are not ready for a baby yet, we still need some time to prepare as we are just married, we even haven't enjoy our two-people time yet, we haven't married for a full year yet, still need to seperate for eight months, this is not a good timing for a baby.

Now, I really found pressure when we get older as everyone is expect an extra member in our family, yet I am not ready for it. Please don't leave so much pressure to me, don't you know that is harder to have baby if the couple get more presure :P

The good news surely will be delivered when it is at the perfect timing :)