the 25th day without SL
My emotion swang a lot today, I was down for my first half day but it turned good at the second half.
During morning, I was still upset on seperation with SL as what I felt recently, I told myself that is totally different between pre-married seperation and post-married seperation. Pre-married seperation is considerable and it is a test for a couple to see if their relationship can really last forever. On the other side, post-married seperation is a torment for them, as a married couples should stay together forever without long seperation.
And I even felt down when I was thinking that other couples who go for reloction in US, but can have their partner together with them longer than us (some are follow them and work there while some are having as long as three months visit), this makes me felt that I am the worst case and kept thinking we a misfortune couple, until I blamed the God with asked Him: "How could you forsake me like this?" Therefore, I was without energy and skipped my lunch with backed home for a short rest.
However, I was better after 5pm, and just realised that I was wrong on kept blaming myself as actually that nobody is wrong, just everyone has their own way to handle problem, neither me nor my managers is wrong as everyone has their own priority (marriage for me and project for managers), therefore I should accept this as it's mine who chose not to follow SL to US, I should blame.
Neither God I should blame, as He has His plan on me, who knows that is the best for me? Long ago, Colin pearched about God's response, there are three response - Accept, Reject and Wait, all of them are good to His children, sometime we would felt bad at first, but it will be ended with happy ever after. Perhaps, I was enlightened, or for some other reason, I just didn't feel down then.
I backed to home and cooked my dinner at evening, this was my first time cooked an "instant spaghetti", which is given from Kevin before he left, I was so excited then and kept talking during my cooking hour, just like what SL did at his first US trip, or did you watch "I am Legend"? I was exactly same as what the male lead did in the film.
Sometimes, you would feel better if you are talking to yourself when you are all alone, I was happy then. Now I know why SL would talk alone that time.
I read SL blog this afternoon and found touched when I kept trying to remember everything that we did together, this really could help for two seperated person.
During morning, I was still upset on seperation with SL as what I felt recently, I told myself that is totally different between pre-married seperation and post-married seperation. Pre-married seperation is considerable and it is a test for a couple to see if their relationship can really last forever. On the other side, post-married seperation is a torment for them, as a married couples should stay together forever without long seperation.
And I even felt down when I was thinking that other couples who go for reloction in US, but can have their partner together with them longer than us (some are follow them and work there while some are having as long as three months visit), this makes me felt that I am the worst case and kept thinking we a misfortune couple, until I blamed the God with asked Him: "How could you forsake me like this?" Therefore, I was without energy and skipped my lunch with backed home for a short rest.
However, I was better after 5pm, and just realised that I was wrong on kept blaming myself as actually that nobody is wrong, just everyone has their own way to handle problem, neither me nor my managers is wrong as everyone has their own priority (marriage for me and project for managers), therefore I should accept this as it's mine who chose not to follow SL to US, I should blame.
Neither God I should blame, as He has His plan on me, who knows that is the best for me? Long ago, Colin pearched about God's response, there are three response - Accept, Reject and Wait, all of them are good to His children, sometime we would felt bad at first, but it will be ended with happy ever after. Perhaps, I was enlightened, or for some other reason, I just didn't feel down then.
I backed to home and cooked my dinner at evening, this was my first time cooked an "instant spaghetti", which is given from Kevin before he left, I was so excited then and kept talking during my cooking hour, just like what SL did at his first US trip, or did you watch "I am Legend"? I was exactly same as what the male lead did in the film.
Sometimes, you would feel better if you are talking to yourself when you are all alone, I was happy then. Now I know why SL would talk alone that time.
I read SL blog this afternoon and found touched when I kept trying to remember everything that we did together, this really could help for two seperated person.
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