Cheer up
At the office, I played some songs from my laptop (I wasn't used to listen to song in office, I didn't know what made me listen to them today), those songs were my favourite songs when I was in the UK, they are nice song but some of them expressed loniness and helpless on love, I am not sure if they depressed me, or because I didn't have any communication with SL today, or maybe playing by hormon, I felt some kind of lonely. Then, I just couldn't help myself to write down my bad experience on seperation and posted it onto my blog.
Among all songs, that is a song depressed me the most - whoever find this I love you. This is a song telling about an orphan, she was so lonely in orphanage and kept looking for love (it might be any kind of love, father love, sibling love, lover love, etc), finally she found one (another lonely person) and spent some happy moment with an old man, but their hapiness didn't last long as the old man gone (past away??). Then with no choice, the little girl just tried to look for next person.
When I listened to the chorus sang by Chyi, I was really moved by her voice as I felt the loniness from the song so deeply, until it kept echoing in my mind. This might because SL and I seperated for sometime already and I just found that is really huge different between seperate and be together, internet advantage still couldn't help to close the gap. Although we have webcam, we still couldn't see each other eye to eye, because our eyes always at laptop screen; although we have instant messanger, we still couldn't use it whenever we want, because of time zone different; Although we have audio conference, we still couldn't chat whereever we want, because we don't access to internet anywhere anytime.
Due to depression, I backed home immediate after work and cooked myself a simple dinner, I need to get used with this kind of life. On the way home, I was thinking if I need to reply the morning sms, as the person might be a loner as well, he might need a friend too as the little girl in the song. Well, I still think it is dangerous to do so.
Later, I got a sms from YY, she asked if I like to have Secret Recipe's chocolate cake as it would make me happier, I think she read my annoying blog at this afternoon, so that she wanted to help me, I was touched and nearly to cry, but I just didn't want to go out this time.
After I took my shower, I immediate access to internet, this has became my daily routine, which I seldom did it after work, just because SL and I have appointment to chat at night. When I signed in to my messanger, I saw SL was there but appear as Away and I knew he was still sleeping as it was still early in US, I just couldn't stop to cry, this is an unspokable loneliness, even though you can see the name there, you still couldn't communicate with him.
Never mind, I can wait for another one hour, that is our appointed time. And, I need to be strong as what I always am.
WHOEVER FINDS THIS I LOVE YOU
Lyrics:Mac Davis Music:Mac Davis
On the quite street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffling through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer’s come and gone
He had a long long midnight ahead waiting for June
Then among the leaves near an orphan’s home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stood to pick it up with trembling hands
And a he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
Cause the words burned him like a brand
Whoever finds this, I love you
Whoever finds this, I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So, whoever finds this, I love you
Well, the old man’s eyes searched the orphan’s home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he’d found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they’d spend the winter
Laughing at the rain
And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they’ve made for each other
The old man would carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies for him
And they laughed a lot
But then one day, on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence… the old man wasn’t there
And, somehow she knew he was never coming back
So she went back to her little room, took a crayon
And wrote:
Whoever finds this, I love you
Whoever finds this, I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So, whoever finds this, I love you
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